Bad Boys

Bad boys.

While listening to Miranda Lambert’s latest album, I came across this song and it sparked a conversation.

My girlfriends and I have been discussing the topic and I love the feedback so here goes.

Most of us girls have fallen weak in the knees a time or two for this brand of man child. First, a few questions…

What constitutes a “Bad boy”?

Is it a style?

 Is it the vice/vices they have?

 Is it a “don’t give a shit” attitude and/or disregard for the law?

I think there’s something intriguing about a guy who seems as though he can never be fully attained. Maybe it’s the idea that they save their softer side for only you…or at least you hope it’s only for you. Maybe it’s the challenge or the idea that we can “save” them.

One friend said she used to be into the brooding musician types and once fell hard for a gorgeous guy who was dark and moody.  Unfortunately, that dark side led to him being a cheater and the moody side ended up being a serious drug addiction.

And because Lana is a bad ass.

Sometimes we only see the good and don’t see the bad until we’re already in too deep. Oops. Our bad.

Carrie may have warned us, but we don’t always listen..

I’ve seen some bad boys turn into good men, usually after years of the Peter Pan Syndrome and the love of an incredibly patient woman.  However, guess whose patience has worn thin after 36 years on this planet? This bitch!

I’ve spent some time being attracted to men who had an air of mystery about them, rebels with absolutely no cause, but as time has passed it seems less attractive. A tough exterior, swagger and street smarts are the only qualities these bad boys may possess that I still think are attractive.  Outside of that, I’m pretty much done with this brand of male.

Some men grow up and outgrow the more immature aspects of the bad boy persona, leaving behind the destructive behaviors that ruin relationships and kudos to them. Some can never get past idea that they have to be accountable to another human being and that means not doing whatever the fuck you want whenever you want; but guess what? If you want a loving, lasting relationship with someone you can count on, you kind of have to grow up. Shocking, I know.

You know what I find attractive? Manners, respect, being consistent, having priorities and life goals. A man who is tough when he needs to be and is always protective of his lady is a keeper in my book as well.

Another one of my lady friends said that while she is still attracted to the bad boy type, her older and wiser self prefers a good guy that is hard working and family oriented. She still wants him to be able to whoop some ass and stay street wise though.

Amen, sister!

The next bit of input comes from the person who brought this to us this morning…

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She said, “I like boys…good boys, bad boys, funny boys, rich, poor…if you show me attention I will probably fall in love with you. I’m a sucker thanks to my self-esteem. Unless you have a man bun, then you’re out.”

She is obviously my favorite human today and not just because she shares my hate of man buns or because she gifted me with a giant zucchini, but because she’s so honest and knows how to laugh at herself.

Another said, “I think I’m attracted to narcissists. I like super confident guys and then I realize they are way more in love with themselves and not so into me.”

 

On relationships in general…

In the end, we fall for who we fall for and love who we love. Every relationship is different and no matter what it looks like from the outside, only those two people know what’s what. We’re all loving flawed human beings and hoping for the best.

Ladies, we’re a hot mess too. We analyze, then discuss with each other, over think and then discuss some more. Sometimes we are fuel to each other’s fires and make things worse, but I’m so glad we have each other to bitch to about guys and relationships, and most importantly thank God we have each other to laugh with. It saves us.

Guys, don’t be a dick just because you have one. Know what you have when you have it because I guarantee you that someone will appreciate what you take for granted and every girl has an ex that wants to make it right for the 89th time. Instead of being a bad boy, be a bad ass man who has self-respect and does right by the people who love you.

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And scene.

 Anti-Social 

I may or may not be a little anti-social, and by that I mean, I am. Long ago I learned that people are annoying and most lack common sense. 

I was a painfully shy child which I now realize was just me choosing to be quiet rather than tell everyone how stupid they were.

Somewhere in my late teens, I decided that I didn’t have to pretend to like everyone. Nor did I have to pretend that they were even somewhat tolerable. This often translated into me being called “stuck up” or a bitch. I didn’t put bitch in quotations because that’s actually true, but I’m not “stuck up” at all.

I don’t think I’m better than others,  I just don’t like them. Maybe you’re somebody else’s cup of tea, but not mine. Although, I would bet that some of you aren’t even a person’s (who is dying of thirst) drop of water because you’re awful.

Some people like to go through life thinking that humans are mostly good and that’s peachy, but not smart. I think humans are always human which means they can be lovely or terrible, fun or dangerous, intelligent or stupid…it’s a gamble. The truth is you just don’t know until you get to know them a little and that’s where you lose me. 

I don’t really want to get to know them. I’ve got plenty of great friends and my family is the most amazing so, no thanks. 

Please don’t sit near me. Please don’t make small talk with me, I’m not even listening. If I avoid eye contact with you, let it go. This girl doesn’t want to chat. 

As DJ Khaled said, “No New Friends”. 

Also, as the great (and sometimes seizure prone) Lil Wayne said, “I’m too old for new friends, but never too rich for new money”.

There you have it. Maybe I’m not anti-social, but selectively social.

Plus, you probably wouldn’t like me anyway. 

Just kidding, I’m the shit.

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By the way, that corner used to be occupied by another interesting character. I’m pretty sure she took over after beating him in a dance off competition. 

P.S. Hugs not Drugs.