My brain has been moving at the speed of dial up internet all day. I’m sick to death of adulting and adults in general. Not you, it’s others.
Like the overly cautious merger this morning on the Parkway. It’s a slight left buddy, no need to brake.
Or the lady who decided to occupy the stall right next to mine when there were 4 other perfectly good empty stalls to choose from. Ma’am, you’re what we call a “turd burglar”. There were no turds happening mind you, because I am a lady, but you get it.
And right now all I can think is either I’m going crazy or this guy has been wearing the exact same outfit for 3 days in a row. Did he shower? Did he change his underwear? Why would you not change clothes?? You look like Jake from State Farm and I understand that he’s super cool, but c’mon. Maybe I’ll come dressed as Flo from Progressive tomorrow and we can battle it out West Side Story style.
I just ate a red Starburst and I think that any Starburst other than pink just tastes like sadness. I used to settle for red thinking, well at least it’s not orange, but I think I’m better than that now.
Clearly, this is a day of reflection. A time for deep thoughts and focusing on what matters and OMG my friend didn’t understand my “Walker, Texas Ranger” reference. This is like the discussion of Care Bears all over again. Also, is there a Tipsy Bear? Because that’s my bear.
It’s Ash Wednesday, National Pig Day, and #whyIlovepizza is trending on Twitter. Obviously one of these things is near and dear to my heart and it’s this bucket of Sunshine right here….
Happy Hump Day.